


Addicted To You

by sexylibrarian12



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (just a wee bit of those tho- don't worry), Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bullying, Child Abuse, Fingering, Gay Sex, High School AU, Loss of Virginity, Love at First Sight, M/M, Pre-Series, Sex, Song fic, but I have a low threshold, human!Cas, lots of sappiness, man this story got out of control, semi-canon, srsly I'm even making myself want to barf, there will be:
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-03-20 23:23:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3669030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexylibrarian12/pseuds/sexylibrarian12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is grudgingly finishing up his senior year of high school in a new town, but it turns out it's totally worth sticking it out and staying in school (but maybe not for the reasons John intended)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unexpected Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick note: I've made John nice in this story. Sure, he's not the greatest father, but he's making an effort, dammit, and I'm sick of him being portrayed as an abusive drunken monster. Not sure why I felt the need to say that, but there you go...
> 
> Anyway, I hope everyone likes sappy/BAMF Dean, cause there's plenty of it! I was inspired by a song verse to write this and thousands upon thousands of words just came pouring out. No idea where this all came from! Hope you enjoy! :)

Another new town, a new school, and Dean had just about had it. He didn’t understand why he needed to keep going to school when everything he needed to know he leaned from his dad or from Sammy giving him mini-lectures. Besides, he was 18 now, more than old enough to drop out. But dad said they needed ‘socializing.’

_What a joke._ Dean always thought. He and Sam always had an easy enough time making friends, but when they had to pull up stakes 6 or 9 months later - or sometimes even 3 - it made it seem like forming any meaningful bonds wasn’t worth it. 

This time didn’t appear to be any different. It was mid-November, the school year was already in full swing, and things had settled into the annual dull routine for the small town they’d landed in. It was further north than they usually went and it was cold; in fact, they learned it had already snowed once. Dean did not like snow. It meant shoveling, it meant soggy boots, it meant chilly bedrooms because they couldn’t afford to keep the heat up high enough.

Sammy did like the snow, though, so when they’d heard this and his face had lit up at the prospect Dean couldn’t bring himself to be outwardly grumpy. He could never resist an opportunity to make his brother happy.

Their dad had told the boys he was hoping to stay here at least through the end of the school year so Dean could have a proper graduation. Dean had rolled his eyes, it certainly didn’t matter to him, but it was a nice gesture and meant they might have a shot at some sort of normalcy, so he simply thanked John and returned the bear hug that had earned him.

Sam was practically bouncing in his seat on their way to their first day of school. Dean was slumped in the back seat of the Impala and Sam sat eagerly in the front as John pulled into the high school parking lot. Dean was supremely embarrassed that he had to go to his first day at a new school _with his dad_ , but he needed to go to the office and give them the boys’ transcripts and finalize the transfer papers. (Not all of them were legally drafted, but hey, it’s not like it was any different from any other part of their lives.)

The three Winchesters strode into the office and were greeted by an overly friendly secretary. She was young, blonde with blue eyes, wore a pink sweater set, and introduced herself as Miss Parks.

Dean huffed a barely audible laugh as he thought. _Lemme guess, chastity ring?_

“But you can call me Delila.” she said quietly as she shook John’s hand.

_Well, maybe not…_ Dean amended to himself. 

She had them take a seat to wait for the principal and Dean couldn’t help but notice the slight pink tinge on his dad’s face. He stared at John until he finally caught his eye and raised a knowing eyebrow, glancing back at Miss Parks.

John blushed harder and cleared his throat in a way that Dean knew meant ‘shut up’ as the principal walked into the office with two boys in tow. One boy was tall, blond, and had a confident air about him and a smug bastard smirk on his face. The other was smaller, slighter, and seemed to curl in on himself. He was wearing an oversized hoodie that hid his features and a grey aura hung over his head.

“Oh, Luke, the first bell hasn’t even rung!” Miss Parks exclaimed as she looked up from her computer. The taller boy simply shrugged at her and the principal just looked tired. He gently guided the other boy toward a door marked NURSE and Dean watched him disappear inside. Luke trudged into the principal’s office under the steely glare of Miss Parks.

“Mr. Edlund, these are the new students - the Winchesters.” Miss Parks explained to the small, bearded man. He straightened up a bit and turned to greet them.

“Carver Edlund. Nice to meet you.” he announced as he gave John a firm handshake. He gave the boys a welcoming smile.

“John Winchester. This is Sam and Dean. We just need to finish up some paperwork and they can get right to studying.” A subtle eye roll from Dean…

“Of course! Let’s do it out here, I’ve got a, uh, ‘fun project’ occupying my office right now.” Mr. Edlund said with a wry smile. John gave an understanding laugh and they got to work.

As the boys sat there and waited for their dad to stop chatting already the mysterious boy came out of the nurse’s office. His hood was down now and he had a bandage over his left cheekbone, but Dean hardly even saw that. The mystery boy had dark hair that was in that awkward stage between long and short, piercing blue eyes, pale skin, and the pinkest, most perfect lips Dean had ever seen on a guy. In a word, he was gorgeous.

Sam was sitting across from Dean, so all he saw was Dean’s mouth drop open, stunned. He was concerned for a moment until he recognized the look in his big brother’s eyes.

“Uh, hey Dean? You okay?” Sam said a bit louder than necessary as he waved a hand to get Dean’s attention. Dean blinked a couple times and focused on Sam.

“Pfft! Yeah, I’m fine.” he replied with an exaggeratedly cool expression. Sam just chuckled.

“Oh, Cas… How are you holding up?” Miss Parks asked the gorgeous guy, whose name was apparently Cas.

“I’ll be fine.” he muttered in a deep rumble. As soon as the voice reached Dean’s ears he knew he was in trouble. He was actually in danger of getting a boner just from hearing this guy’s voice!

Just then the bell rang.

“Hey, what’s your first class?” Miss Parks asked Cas.

“Um, algebra.” he replied. He figured she was just going to write him a hall pass.

“Oh, great!” Miss Parks exclaimed. “Maybe you can walk Dean to class, that’s his first period, too. Dean, this is Castiel, you have the same first period subject.”

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

It was all either of them could manage. Castiel’s eyes had gone a little wide when he’d turned around. He hadn’t expected to see the guy of his dreams (well, let’s be real, his fantasies) sitting right there in front of him. Dirty blond messy hair, forest green eyes, dusting of freckles, slightly muscular build; he was everything Cas was physically attracted to. He was only brought out of his lust-panic by Miss Parks handing them each a piece of paper.

“Here’s your hall pass, Cas. And Dean, this is for your algebra teacher.” The boys stood there awkwardly for a moment as she turned her attention to Sam.

By then John and Mr. Edlund had finished up. He gave Sam and Dean each a map of the building and their dad gave them a big grin.

“Alright, I’ll be home when you guys get out of school today. Don’t be too miserable Dean. I’ll see you guys soon.” John gave them both a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before he left. Dean thought it was funny how his dad clearly thought he’d been subtle as he winked at Miss Parks on the way out the door.

“So, you’re new, huh?” Cas asked as they made their way to class. This was possibly the most awkward moment of either of their lives.

“Uh, yeah. We move around a lot, so…” Dean trailed off. He had no idea what to say.

“Oh. That sucks?” Cas posited uncertainly.

“Nah, I’m used to it.” Dean replied, trying to play it cool. “I guess we’re gonna stick around here so I can graduate, though.”

“That’s great!” Cas said a little too enthusiastically. Dean saw his ears go red and gave him a warm smile.

“Yeah, I think it will be.”


	2. Dean's Abs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gym always sucked, but Dean's abs would've gotten me through. ;)

_Okay, don’t fuck this up, Winchester!_

It was later that same day and Dean was in the bathroom during lunch. He was staring at himself in the mirror and gripping the edges of the sink.

_He’s obviously into you, too, so no reason to be nervous, right?_

He steeled himself and walked into the cafeteria, looking around to see if he could spot Sammy. Sure enough, there he was sitting surrounded by a group of kids, all rapt while he regaled them with what was undoubtedly a hunting story reworked to leave out the questionable details. Dean smiled and let his eyes rove around the room some more until his gaze fell on Castiel sitting by himself at a table in the corner.

Dean hesitated, wanting to sit with him, but not wanting to come on too strong. However, he spotted that Luke kid heading in Cas’s direction and Dean’s mind was made up. He strode over to the table and sat down across from Cas, effectively intercepting Luke’s advance. Cas looked up from the book he was engrossed in and smiled when he saw Dean. The smile faded, though, when he saw Luke looming over Dean’s head. 

“What do you want?” Cas demanded. Dean turned in his seat and gave Luke a friendly smile.

“Hey there! Dean Winchester.” he said cheerily, holding out his hand. Luke took it and shook with a crushing grip. 

“Luke.” he replied. 

Dean wasn’t phased by the show of strength. He slowly rose from his seat, still gripped in Luke’s fist.

“I’m new here, so you don’t know me at all. Let me introduce myself properly: you come near him again and I will fuck you up. Got it?” Dean kept the smile on his face while his eyes went hard and his grip surpassed Luke’s own strength. Luke’s body twisted a little as he tried to keep the pain from his face and he pulled his hand away.

“Whatever, asshole!” Luke growled as he stalked away.

Dean let out a sigh and turn back around. Cas was sitting there half terrified, half impressed. 

“That was brave… or stupid.” Cas said as Dean resumed his seat. 

“Don’t worry, I can hold my own. I can’t abide bullies.” he assured as he crossed his arms over his chest. There was a brief pause during which Dean gathered his courage and charisma.

“Hey, I was wondering… I’m not that great at math. How are you?” 

“Very good.” Cas replied honestly.

“Cool! Do you think - think you could help me study? I promise I won’t just make you do my homework!” He held up his hands in a preemptively placating gesture. Cas gave a shy smile as he looked up at Dean through his thick, dark lashes.

“Uh, yeah, that’d be cool.”

“Awesome! Think you could come over after school?”

“Well, I, um… I-I have to see if it’s okay with my mom…” Cas muttered in reply, red rising up his face in an almost cartoonish way. 

“No problem, I understand.” Dean reassured. “What’s your schedule for the rest of the day? We got anymore classes together?” Dean pulled out his schedule and pushed it across the table.

“Looks like we have gym together.” Cas answered, voice a bit higher than it had been.

_Oh, boy. Locker room… that’s gonna be awkward._ they both thought simultaneously. But Dean was infinitely more confident and he managed to keep his own blush under wraps.

“Okay. Let me know about tonight then?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I’m gonna get something to eat. See you later.” Dean said as he got up. He shot Cas his most charming smile over his shoulder as he walked away and Cas gave a little wave before ducking his head.

_That went well._ Dean thought as he grinned stupidly to himself. He grabbed a bottle of water and a tuna sandwich, paid the lunch lady, and moseyed out of the cafeteria to eat while he looked for his next classroom.

 

Gym was boring, they were starting a unit on basketball and Dean really wasn’t into team sports. Well, it _would_ have been boring, but Cas was there, so he kept himself amused playing How Red Can I Make Cas. It seemed his winning move was waiting until Cas was looking his way and lifting his shirt up to wipe the sweat from his face. Scrunched forward slightly, Dean’s abs were on full display and when he looked at Cas after the second try at this maneuver he saw Cas sitting on the bottom row of bleachers, bolt upright, eyes like saucers with a basketball clutched in his lap.

“Novak! What are you doing on the bench?” barked the gym teacher, Mr. Turner.

“I think I sprained my ankle.” Cas replied as loudly as he cared to, which wasn’t all that loud considering how little attention he wanted drawn his way at the moment.

Mr. Turner strode over to Cas with a slightly arthritic gait. He was a grizzled old guy who looked like he wasn’t going to tolerate any shit. Dean watched as he probed at Cas’s ankle, then glanced at the clock. It was only 10 minutes until the end of class and it looked like he’d decided to let Cas stay where he was, even though Dean suspected Cas wasn’t all that lame. So maybe the guy had a bit of a soft heart, too. 

Dean was unaware of how focused he was on the situation until he distantly heard someone yell ‘head’s up!’ a millisecond before he took a basketball directly to the side of his face. It snapped his head to the side and the kid standing closest to him caught the ball on the rebound. Dean shook his vision back into place saw a girl rushing over to him with a horrified look on her face.

“I’m so sorry!” she shrieked. “Are you okay?” Her long red hair was falling out of a messy ponytail and her pale, freckled cheeks burned in mortification. She looked as though she might cry. 

“Y-yeah, I’m okay, I’m fine.” Dean replied, swaying just the slightest bit. “It was an accident, no worries.” He grinned at her reassuringly. There were a few concerned looks and some giggles, but Mr. Turner blew his whistle.

“Back to drills!” he ordered. All the students came back to life after the gawking and Mr. Turner told Dean to go sit down. 

“Are you alright?” Cas asked, wide eyed as Dean sat down next to him. 

“Yeah, I’ve had worse.” Dean chuckled, trying to sound tough. They were close together and Dean was resting his hands on the bench on either side of his thighs. Cas hesitantly placed his own hand between them and hooked his pinkie around Dean’s. Dean gave him a blinding smile and nudged Cas’s shoulder with his own.

“That chick always so high-strung?” Dean asked with a laugh.

“Um, yeah. That’s Charlie, she’s my friend. We’re kind of… opposite, I guess you could say.”

“Gotcha.” 

“So, I can go over to your place today.” Cas said after a pause. 

“Awesome! Gotta walk, but it’s not too far. That cool?”

“Yeah, I dressed warm.” Cas grinned at him.

“Alright, you kids are done for the day!” shouted Mr. Turner. There was a flurry of activity as kids hurried to put away equipment and race to the locker rooms. Cas put away the ball he’d been holding and slowly walked to the locker room as Dean sidled up to him.

“Hey, your ankle okay?”

“Yeah, I just… I guess I just twisted it funny. It’s fine now.” Cas replied sheepishly. 

_So he was faking it._ Dean thought with a quiet chuckle. 

They were on opposite sides of the room while they changed, but Dean couldn’t help sneaking a peek at Cas through the crowd. He was only able to manage a couple glimpses, but they were tantalizing. 

Once they were changed and had gathered their belongings they agreed to meet out front after getting stuff from their lockers. 

A few minutes later when Cas spotted Dean he was arguing with a boy who was almost as tall as him and looked familiar. 

“No way! You need to ask dad first and that’s that! Just come home and talk to him for a minute, I’m sure he’ll let you go back out, but you can’t just go running off on our first day in a new town.” Dean was saying sternly to the sullen looking kid.

“Ugh! Fine!” was the reply, accompanied by an eye roll. 

Cas approached, feeling awkward, and Dean turned to him with a grin. 

“Hey, Cas! This is my little brother Sammy.” he said, clapping Sam on the shoulder.

“It’s Sam, actually.” he said, perturbed, but he held his hand out to Cas. 

“Oh, right, I saw you in the office this morning. Nice to meet you, Sam.” Cas replied as they shook hands. Sam gave him a tiny appreciative smile. 

“Sam wants to go to the coffee shop downtown with some kids, but he’s gotta run it by our dad first.” Dean explained as they started off down the road. 

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Maybe you and I could go, too?” Cas suggested.

He and Dean were walking close enough to each other that their arms brushed against one another. 

“Yeah, that sounds good. Gonna be here a while, might as well get the lay of the land.” Dean replied with an easy smile.


	3. Steamers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not gross, I promise. 
> 
> Also, what is wrong with me? Soooo muuuuch fluuuuff!

Back at their rental, John sat at the kitchen table pouring over a thick book. Cas looked around the tiny apartment; there was a largish room that combined the living room and kitchen and a short hallway leading to three doors. It was sparsely furnished and looked like they’d just moved in. Of course, they _had_ just moved in, but Cas didn’t know that that’s what their living quarters usually looked like. 

John didn’t look up as he started talking to his boys. 

“Looks like there’s a case nearby-” Dean cut him off with a loud throat clear. 

“Oh.” John said in surprise as he saw Cas. John didn’t look particularly pleased that the boys had brought a stranger home unannounced, but Dean quickly explained before he could say anything else. 

“Dad, this is Cas. We’ve got a couple classes together. He’s gonna help me with algebra.”

“Oh, alright.” John grumbled as he thumped the book closed. “Nice to meet you Cas. You can call me John.” He stood and offered a hand to Cas while at the same time hiding the book from view. 

“Nice to meet you, too.” Cas replied, giving John a firm handshake. 

“Dad, can I go meet up with some kids I met today? I’ll be home for dinner, I promise.“ Sam pleaded, unable to keep quiet any longer. 

“Well, I don’t know…” John started, brow stern.

“We’re going, too.” Dean added. “It’s just to the coffee shop downtown.” Cas just hung back looking oddly nervous.

John looked back and forth between his boys a couple times before he relented.

“Alright, as long as you’re home for dinner. I made lasagna, want to join us, Cas?” 

“Sure.” Cas replied, face brightening considerably. Dean beamed at his father. There’s no way his dad could possibly guess he was attracted to this guy, but he was grateful nonetheless. 

“Okay, see you later, dad!” Dean called as they headed out the door.

“Thanks.” Sam muttered grudgingly when they stepped outside.

“No biggie. I’m sure he woulda let you anyway.” Dean replied and ruffled Sam’s hair. Sam pushed him away and they got into a playful shoving match as they walked down the street until Sam heard someone call his name. He looked up, waved, gave Dean one last shove, and took off running. 

A few minutes later a line of small silver bells tied to a red string jingled as they entered the coffee shop. There was a long line at the counter, apparently this was a popular after school hangout. 

“Hey, Tibetan prayer bells.” Dean commented offhandedly. 

“What?” Cas’s brow furrowed a little and he tilted his head slightly. It was so cute Dean wanted to kiss him right then and there. 

“Um, the door chimes.”

“Oh. How did you know that?” 

“I know weird stuff.” Dean mumbled.

“So, what are you going to get?” Dean asked as they waited.

“Probably a steamer.”

“A what?!” Dean sputtered with laughter.

“A steamer. Haven’t you ever heard of them?”

“Well, I’ve heard that word used in a, uh, particular context…”

Cas chuckled.

“Oh, right. Well, _this_ is steamed milk and a shot of flavor syrup. They’re really good and warm and don’t have any caffeine.” 

“You don’t do caffeine?” Dean asked.

“No, I… get jumpy.” Cas replied, cheeks pink. 

“Huh.” Dean shrugged his shoulders like it was no big deal and Cas relaxed a bit.

“Two steamers, please.” Cas told the barista when they stepped up for their turn.

“What flavors?”

“I’ll have hazelnut.” Cas replied, then turned to Dean with a questioning look. 

“Oh, I dunno! You can pick.” Dean said, a bit flustered. Cas considered him for a moment. 

“He’ll have amaretto.” Cas declared. The young woman smiled at the two of them and took Cas’s money. 

“You didn’t have to pay.” Dean said self-consciously.

“I don’t mind.” Cas looked at him as if it were completely natural he’d pay. 

The barista handed them their drinks and they found a small table for two shoved onto a back corner. Cas set down his backpack and pulled out his algebra book.

“So, what do you think you need help with?” Cas asked, clutching the book nervously in his lap.

“Oh, well, I guess I wanted to make sure I‘m caught up, but we don’t have to do that right now.” He blew across the top of his steaming mug and watched the little white wisps dance in the air. He caught Cas’s eye and smiled before taking a sip.

“Wow!” he exclaimed, eyes wide. “This is amazing! What flavor did you say it was?” 

“I’m glad you like it.” Cas said, clearly pleased with himself. “It’s amaretto - an almond liquor. Although, obviously the syrup isn’t alcoholic.”

Dean took another big sip and slowly licked off the thin line of foam that clung to his lip. He could actually see Cas swallow and preened smugly inside. Cas quickly brought his own mug up to his face and hid behind a long sip.

“So… you been here all your life?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, born and raised.” He paused for a moment, eyes drifting to the side. “It’s killing me.” he sighed.

“Hey, man, you okay?” Dean asked as he reached out and laid a hand on Cas’s knee. Cas flinched almost violently, but relaxed when he looked up to see the genuine concern in his eyes and unconsciously leaned toward Dean’s furrowed brow.

“Yeah… you know, teen drama or whatever.” He gave Dean a weak smile and laid his hand over Dean’s. The tension in Dean’s face softened and he squeezed Cas’s knee. 

“Okay, if you say so. I know we just met, but I want to tell you right now that you can trust me. I’m really good at keeping secrets.” He chuckled a little at the thought that Cas would never know how true that statement was. 

“Thanks.” Cas whispered. “Um, how about you? You move around a lot?”

“Yeah, my dad is… well, he… he’s got, like, a government job or something. So, we just go where the work is.” 

“What about your mom?”

“She died when I was 4 and Sammy was a baby.”

“I’m sorry.” Cas said evenly. Dean was glad to hear the sincerity in his voice and not the usual pity people gave him.

“I miss her, but it was a long time ago, you know?”

“Yeah. It’s just me and my mom. We don’t get along. I never met my dad, but apparently I have a lot of step-siblings. I’ll probably never meet any of them either, but I don’t really care. Just want to get out of here as soon as I graduate.”

Dean hummed in reply. Their fingers were twined together and they sipped their drinks in comfortable silence for a while. 

“So, d-did you want to work on math?” Cas asked shyly. He didn’t want to let go of Dean, but he didn’t know what else to say.

“Uh, yeah. I really do want to make sure I’m caught up with everyone, but can I confess something?” Cass nodded. “I really just wanted to hang out with you. The second I saw you I just wanted to run away with you.” Dean could feel his face burning and he was kicking himself for letting that last bit slip.

Was he hearing this correctly? Castiel couldn’t believe this - it was out of some stupid rom-com. Besides, good things like this simply didn’t happen to him. He was frozen in silence for a few beats.

“I’m sorry, that was really… cheesy. And forward. I’m sorry-”

“Dean.” Cas interrupted, coming out of his daze at Dean’s wholly unnecessary apology. Dean looked up into shining blue eyes. Cas reached out and tentatively brushed his fingertips across Dean’s cheekbone. 

“It’s okay. I’m not weirded out. I’m not scared. I don’t know what it is, but I just… I feel drawn to you.” They gazed deep into each others eyes and leaned just the tiniest bit closer --

“Hey, guys, stop eye fucking each other, it’s time to go!” Sam said all too loudly as he approached their table. Cas and Dean jolted away from each other like lightening had struck between them. Dean glared daggers at Sam.

“I… hate… you…” he growled at his little brother, but Sam just laughed and turned to leave.

“You know, sometimes I wish _I_ was an only child…” Dean grumbled. This was met with a laugh from Cas - it was a rich sound that melted Dean’s sour demeanor instantly.

“C’mon, let’s go before he decides to taunt you some more.” Cas smiled. He stood and grabbed his stuff. They put their empty mugs away and Cas offered a hand to Dean who took it with a dopey grin as they walked out into the chill wind.


	4. I'll protect you.

When the three boys got back to the Winchester’s temporary home they could smell the lasagna baking before they even got inside. They opened the door and John was gathering up all his books and papers from the table and there were dishes and silverware stacked and ready to be set out as soon as the table was clear. 

John gave the boys a big smile as they came in.

“Hey, dad!” called Sam. He flung his bag onto the couch and kicked his shoes off. The other two put their bags on the couch, too, and Dean put all the shoes neatly against the wall under the coat hooks.

“Hey, buddy, can you set the table for me?” John asked the ball of energy that was his youngest son. 

“Why are we setting the table?” Sam asked.

“Because we have a guest, you knucklehead. Now go.” Sam rolled his eyes at John, but got to work. 

Sam was used to just going with the flow. They weren’t exactly an American Dream kind of family, so John had jumped at the chance to play normal, no matter how temporarily. And, really, the boys were just as eager for it. 

“Dean, come help me with the food.” John said. His tone seemed casual, but Dean knew he meant ‘private talk time’.

“You’re being careful right? What did you tell him about me?” John asked quietly once they were both on the other side of the room from Castiel, who had taken a seat on the couch.

“I just said you had a government job. He didn’t seem interested, don’t worry.” 

“Okay, good job.” John took the bubbling lasagna out of the oven and Dean put the waiting garlic bread in. 

 

“How was school, boys?” John asked when they had started eating. 

“Great!” “Boring.” Sam and Dean said at the same time. John chuckled. 

“I could’ve guessed as much.” he grinned. “Any success teaching algebra to Dean?” he asked Cas.

“Oh, well, we d-didn’t really get to that yet…” Cas stammered.

“He was telling me about the school and stuff.” Dean cut in.

John nodded. He was glad Dean had made a friend the first day. Dean was usually standoffish at first, though he tended to fall in with the popular crowd. But John knew that Dean kept himself guarded, more than was necessary for their family, and it was good to see him opening up so easily.

The meal was mostly quiet, as long as you didn’t count Sam’s near incessant chatter about the school and the kids he’d met.

“And I had gym today. It was right after lunch - I thought I was gonna puke!” Sam made a face. “But Coach Turner seemed cool. He’s a grumpy old guy, reminded me a lot of Uncle Bobby, except black.” John perked up at this.

“Do you know what his first name is?” he asked Sam.

“Nuh-uh.” Sam replied through a big mouthful of food.

“It’s Rufus.” Cas supplied. John nearly choked on his water.

“Holy shit! I can’t believe that ol’ S.O.B. is right here under our noses!” He slapped the table with a hearty laugh.

“ _That’s_ Rufus?” Dean asked incredulously. Sam looked excited and Cas just looked confused.

“Rufus is a, uh, an old hunting partner of mine. He’s a little… eccentric, likes to keep off the radar. I’ll have to go say hi to him.” John’s gaze was distant as he trailed off.

“Well, we’re gonna go study.” Dean said after a minute.

“Dishes first.” John commanded firmly.

“Yessir.” Dean said with sagging shoulders.

“I’ll help.” Cas said quietly, giving him a little smile. Dean immediately perked up. They gathered all the dirty dishes and headed to the sink.

John watched them clean up as he got a beer out of the fridge. The boys stood close together as they worked and kept giving each other shy little smiles when they bumped into one another. Suddenly John realized what was going on.

He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised, he’d seen his son flirt with just about anybody, but that was usually because it was beneficial to a case. Dean didn’t normally get involved with anyone due to their lifestyle and John hoped he wasn’t setting himself up for a heartbreak.

 

Cas had gone home fairly soon after that, albeit reluctantly, and Dean had tossed and turned all night. They had both been as inseparable as possible the next day, the rest of the week. They held hands the whole time they were together and Dean was relieved to find that no one seemed to care, including his dad.

Dean met Cas’s two friends, Charlie and Dorothy. They were tough, vivacious girls with a penchant for adventure and a deep love of all things nerdy. Dean quickly learned that if he wanted to get up to trouble, these were the people to hang out with. They even made Cas bolder. 

The little group spent almost every day after school at the coffee shop studying or chatting and Dean was really starting to feel like he could actually belong somewhere. He knew he shouldn’t, but he just couldn’t help letting his guard down a little. He knew it was foolish to fantasize, but maybe, just maybe, he could stay here. He was 18 after all and when he graduated, well, he could do whatever he wanted to.

 

The Winchesters had been there for two weeks when one day Cas and Dean found themselves alone at Dean’s apartment. John was away for a couple days and Sam was staying the night at a friend’s.

They were sitting on Dean’s bed in the tiny room he shared with his brother, their books and papers spread out everywhere in their race to get their work done so they could watch movies together. 

Dean, however, was much less patient than Cas. He’d never been so attracted to anyone before, boy or girl, and they hadn’t even gone beyond handholding yet. He couldn’t take it any longer.

_Fuck it._ he thought as he swept his books out of the way.

Cas looked up in surprise and suddenly found himself with a face full of Dean. He let out a little gasp as Dean’s lips brushed his own and he melted into the contact, chapped lips pressed warmly against soft. Their eyes drifted closed and Dean trailed his fingers across Cas’s jaw and back along his hairline. He cupped the back of Cas’s head as he gently pushed his tongue into Cas’s mouth. He met no resistance and Cas let out a pleased little whimper.

It took no time at all for the kiss to elevate to a dizzying passion. Dean leaned back and pulled Cas on top of him, tilting his head to deepen their contact. Cas hesitantly pushed his hips down against Dean’s and Dean moaned into his mouth, goading him further. Dean gripped Cas’s shoulders hard, intent on flipping them over, but Cas cried out sharply and tried to jerk away.

Dean’s hands immediately flew away from Cas’s body, his face suddenly horrified. They both sat up and Cas’s expression was both pained and embarrassed. 

“I-I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” Dean held a hand out toward Cas, wanting to comfort him, but wasn’t sure if he should touch him. 

“I-i-it’s okay. I just, uh… it’s nothing.” Cas stuttered and Dean’s heart broke at the look of fear on Cas’s face. 

“What is it? Let me see.” Dean’s voice was soft and he reached forward a little more, but Cas shied away.

“No, really, it’s nothing.” he insisted, but Dean wasn’t having any of it.

“Cas, that didn’t sound like nothing. Please, let me see. I can help.” 

Castiel reluctantly acquiesced; he slowly slid his arm out of the sleeve of his long-sleeved shirt and pushed it up past his shoulder. He turned a little to reveal an enormous purple and black bruise. Dean couldn’t help the hiss that escaped his mouth.

“Baby, what happened?” He gently grasped Cas’s jaw so he would look Dean in the eye. Dean’s face was full of genuine concern and Cas relaxed in the comfort of that. 

“I fell.” Cas stated simply.

“Bullshit. Did that asshole Luke do this to you?” Dean demanded. A spark of protective anger flashed in his eyes.

“No, no… he mostly leaves me alone.” Cas assured him. He _really_ didn’t want Dean getting into trouble on his account. Yet at the same time he really didn’t want to tell him the truth. He struggled internally for a few moments; he was ashamed, afraid of the truth, but at the same time he was gripped with the sudden conviction that he had to tell somebody. If he didn’t it might very literally kill him.

“Cas, I meant what I said that first day we met: you can trust me. I’ll help you, I’ll protect you. I mean that with every fiber of my being.” Dean’s eyes were wide and he looked a little panicky when he saw tears beginning to well up in Cas’s own eyes. 

“I do trust you, Dean.” he said quietly before he placed a gentle kiss on Dean’s lips. “It’s just… hard for me to say. I’ve never told anybody. It’s… my mom.” 

Dean’s expression turned hard. That’s one thing he simply couldn’t abide. His father certainly hadn’t been a model parent, but he loved his boys more than anything and he’d never hurt them. Dean mustered every ounce of his strength to control his anger and soften his features as he wrapped Cas tightly in his arms, carefully avoiding the injury. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything else if you don’t want to, or you can tell me everything. It’s up to you, baby, I’m here for you either way.”

Cas’s tears spilled over then. He buried his face in Dean’s neck and sobbed and sobbed, chest heaving, shoulders shaking. Dean just held him and let him go on for as long as he needed to, whispering soothing words and humming softly. After a few minutes Cas’s breathing settled into the occasional hitched cough and he lay limp against Dean’s shoulder, eyes closed, still half out of his shirt. Dean grabbed a clean handkerchief out of his bedside drawer and offered it to Cas who took it with a mumbled thanks and cleaned his face up. 

“I’m so tired, Dean.” he said, voice rough from crying. 

“I know, sweetheart, I’ll take care of you.” He kissed the top of Cas’s head, helped him the rest of the way out of his shirt, and laid him on the bed. 

“I’ll be right back, but if you want to go to sleep that’s okay. I’ve got some stuff to put on the bruise.” Cas simply nodded his head, not meeting Dean’s gaze. 

Dean returned moments later with one of their first aid kits and took out an herbal ointment. He was glad Cas was passed out - rubbing the balm into his skin was probably going to be uncomfortable, to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving you with kind of a cliffhanger for a day or two... Sorry...


	5. Confession No. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a secret.

Cas looked at the clock when he awoke and saw he’d been out for almost two hours. Dean was snoozing lightly beside him, but stirred when Cas sat up.

“Hey, baby, how’re ya feelin’?” Dean mumbled. 

“Much better, thank you.” Cas smiled sleepily at him. His eyes drifted over to the first aid kit which still sat open at the foot of the bed. It was full of bottles and canisters like a normal first aid kit would be, but they looked… different. Old maybe, or foreign, or both - Cas wasn’t sure. He picked up a small brown bottle and read the hand-written label: Cyanide Tablets.

“Uh, Dean… What is all this stuff?” Cas asked with a tinge of fear creeping into his voice. Dean scrambled to the end of the bed when he realized he’d left everything out. 

“Oh, it’s all, uh… it’s, like, old-timey cures and stuff.” he explained lamely as he shoved everything back into the tin box. Cas just looked at him skeptically. 

“You know, the trust thing works both ways.” he said quietly as he watched Dean fuss at stuff in a jittery way. “I mean, I’ve kept my secret from everyone all this time.” 

Dean sighed, shoulders sagging as he sat down.

“I - I know you did. And I know that was really, really difficult for you. I do trust you, you’ve got to understand that our situation, our life, it’s the furthest from normal you can get and it’s not just my decision to tell. Just… just give me some time, okay?” 

“Okay.” Cas replied with a kiss to Dean’s cheek. Dean smiled at him, relieved, and ran a hand down his back. 

“It’s cold in here. Do you want to put your shirt back on?” 

“Yeah, probably should.” Dean helped Cas ease the fabric over the now sticky patch on his skin. 

“She pushed me.” Cas stated. This was met by a questioning raise of Dean’s eyebrows. “We were arguing and she pushed me. I tripped over the arm of the couch and my shoulder caught the edge of the coffee table. I’m just glad it wasn’t my head.” he concluded and Dean winced.

“That’s a pretty sad rationalization.” Dean responded. Cas just shrugged.

“Is it something that happens a lot?” Dean asked and Cas nodded. “Does she drink a lot?” 

“No, not at all. She’s just… angry. And I don’t even know why. I tried to suggest that she go to therapy once, but that… didn’t end well.” 

“Sounds like she needs more than therapy.” Dean muttered. 

“I just try to stay out of her way.”

“Good idea. Wanna spend the night?” Dean tried to keep the wicked smirk off of his face, he really did, but it seemed to have a mind of it’s own. 

“That would be very nice.’ Cas replied with heat creeping into his gaze. “But, uh, let’s just stick to kissing for now, okay?”

“Whatever you want, baby.” Dean replied and leaned in to give him just that. 

 

Sam came home the next morning and found them together in bed, tangled and shirtless.

“UUUUUGH!!! Eye bleach!” he yelled, making Dean and Cas both jump awake. 

“Oh, fuck off! We’re wearing pants, you little twerp!” Dean yelled after his brother’s retreating form.

“Don’t care! I don’t even want to think about my brother doing it!” Sam shouted, but there was humor in his voice. 

“Little freak.” Dean growled, but Cas was chuckling. “Glad one of us finds him funny.”

He rolled over and gave Cas a kiss that started out chaste, but ended with them panting as they finally parted.

“Wanna get breakfast at the diner?” Cas suggested.

“Yeah, I’m starving! You can take first shower, I gotta call my dad.” 

“Okay.“ Cas replied with a smile as Dean rolled out of bed and headed to the living room.

Dean stumbled sleepily into the common area, throwing a glare at Sam where he sat on the couch watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating sugary cereal. He found the paper with his dad’s contact numbers and tried the first one. He was in luck, his dad was still in his motel room and picked up on the second ring. 

“Hey, dad!” Dean said brightly. He’d learned over the years to be extra cheery when calling John when he was separated from the boys so as not to give him a heart attack. 

“Hey, son, just checking in?” John greeted him. 

“Yeah, just wondering when you think you’ll be back.”

“I’ll be back tonight, actually. Thought you boys and I could spend the day ice fishing tomorrow?”

“Isn’t it a little early in the year for that? It’s barely even snowed.” 

“Seems as though I’ve kept you boys in the south too long.” John chuckled. “No, it’s been well below freezing every night for a coupe weeks now, nice thick layer of ice on the lake at the edge of town.”

“Okay. Can we take Cas?” Dean asked almost without thinking.

“Mmm, I suppose. As long as it’s okay with his mother.” John answered after a moment’s hesitation. 

“Thanks, dad! See you tonight.” Despite his fear of Cas’s mother’s reaction Dean beamed.

“Bye, son.”

Cas came out of the bathroom then in his jeans, a towel draped around his shoulders. 

“Guess what?” Dean announced to both Cas and Sam. “Were all going ice fishing tomorrow!” 

“Cool!” Sam cried, but his attention was quickly recaptured by the TV. 

“Think you can come?” Dean asked Cas.

“Yeah, I don’t think it’ll be a problem.” Cas replied with a small smile that was less sure than his words.

Dean beckoned him into the bedroom.

“Here, I’ll put more stuff on your shoulder.” he said as he gestured for Cas to sit on the edge of the bed. “It may hurt. You were asleep last night, so you didn’t feel it.” Dean’s face was a mask of unspoken apology.

“So, what exactly is that?” Cas was understandably nervous after his prior discovery in the med kit. 

“It’s arnica cream. It’s, like, some hippie plant-based crap, but it works really well. It doesn’t sting or anything, it’s just that I have to rub it in.” 

“It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” Cas reassured him.

Cas’s shoulders tensed a little as Dean started, but it really wasn’t as bad as he was expecting. He just closed his eyes and thought of Dean kissing him - that was more than enough to distract him. 

“I’m so sorry, Cas. I hate causing you pain.” Dean said quietly.

“It’s worth it. Plus, I don’t mind if it’s you.” Cas peeked coyly over his shoulder at Dean. “I mean, I _really_ don’t mind.”

“Oh.” Dean squeaked and his brain melted a little at the impish look in Cas’s eyes. _This is interesting…_

“There, all finished.” Dean said quickly. “My turn to shower!” 

He dashed to the bathroom and jumped into the shower as quickly as he could. There was a brief debate in his mind - cold shower to calm down or jerk it and get it over with? He settled on taking care of things, it wasn’t going to take very long after all. With scorching water pouring down his back he soaped up his hand and got to work stroking his cock, which was already good to go. Two minutes and a lot of images of Cas bent over and getting spanked or tied up and having his nipples teased later and Dean was feeling much more clearheaded. 

Dean washed himself and the wall of the shower in record time and got ready to go out. Cas was still sitting on Dean’s bed flipping through a car magazine when he emerged from the steamy bathroom.

“Can I borrow a shirt?” Cas asked, completely innocent to what had just transpired on the other side of the thin drywall.

“Yeah, no problem.” Dean grinned at him and they were soon on their way to breakfast.


	6. You're Family

It turned out that there _was_ a problem with Cas going fishing with them. Cas’s mother, Naomi, didn’t like that he’d been spending so much time with this strange boy and told Cas he needed to stay home. She told him she didn’t trust them - a family of vagrants she had called them. 

Cas was livid, but he was afraid to push the issue. Instead, he stormed up to his room and didn’t some out until he had to go to school on Monday.

Dean had been disappointed, but he took the opportunity to ask his dad some things he was half dreading and half felt was the most important thing in the world. 

He waited until they were ensconced in the little hut they’d rented, along with the fishing equipment. They had a fire going in the small potbelly stove, enough junk food to last three days, and a cooler of beer. John hadn’t looked this happy and relaxed in a long time and Dean thought that if he approached this carefully he might have a chance at success. 

“So, dad…” he ventured.

“Yeah?” John asked as he looked up from cracking his first beer. 

“Well, I, uh… You know that, um…” Dean stumbled over his words and he realized that this was infinitely harder than he’d anticipated. He squeezed his hands into fists briefly to solidify his courage and continued.

“Well, for starters, you know Cas and I are dating, right?”

A parade of emotions were flitting across John’s face; first concern, then fear, then relief, and finally just a touch of humor.

“For starters? Good lord, you didn’t get him pregnant did you!?” John asked in mock horror. Both Dean and Sam busted out laughing at the rare joke from their father. 

“Jeez, dad, of course not!” 

“Well, it took you long enough to spit that out, I thought you were going to tell me something terrible! And yeah, I kinda figured you were. John finished with an expression that was somewhere between warmth and discomfort. It was bad enough having to give the boys ‘the talk’, but what the hell advice was he supposed to give about a relationship with another guy?

“Yeah, okay, so… I think I’m in love with him. I mean, I know I am. And it’s… I’ve never felt this way before.” The color was beginning to drain from John’s face and seemed to travel across the ice and into Dean’s. 

“You’re very young, son…” John started, an automatic parental response.

“No, no, dad. Please listen. I know what being attracted to someone feels like, and I know what being in love is, but Cas is different. And I know, that’s really stereotypical of me to say, but I mean it. There’s just something about him… he’s pure and good and trustworthy - I can just feel it in him. You know as well as I do that we come across all kinds of stuff that’s weird and screwy and unbelievable. Please believe that when I say I feel connected to Cas, I mean it’s more than love. It’s like we’re supposed to be together, forever. And, god, I feel like such a girl saying that, but I can’t help it. So please don’t tell me it’s just teenage hormones because I swear to you it’s not.” Dean’s eyes were glued to the hole in the ice and his face was burning red. He didn’t think he’d said that much all at once in his entire life.

“Son, against my parental instincts I believe you.” John said quietly, placing a big, reassuring hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean wiped at his damp eyes quickly before finally looking up.

Poor Sam was sitting stock still on his wooden crate, eyes wide in horror at the emotional display that had just played out before him.

“Here, Sam. I think being witness to this makes you enough of a man for a beer.” John said with a little chuckle as he handed Sam a cold can. Sam took it with a gleeful expression on his face and cracked it open.

“Thanks, dad!” he exclaimed and slipped off into thoughts of manly deeds, ignoring what was going on around him. 

“So, Dean, why do you bring this up?” 

Dean cleared his throat.

“Well, Cas entrusted me with a really big secret and I’d like to do the same for him. I think - and please don’t get mad - I think he should know what we do. It’s really important to me.” Dean was cringing a little and looking away again. John squeezed Dean’s shoulder again, making him look up. 

“Can I first ask what his secret is?” 

Dean was so relieved that his dad hadn’t blown up at him that he almost came right out with it without thinking.

“Well, I don’t want to betray his trust, but… he needs help. And I think you could help, too. You know how it’s just him and his mom?” John nodded. “They don’t, uh, get along. At all. She’s a really angry person and sh-she takes it out on Cas.” Dean finished with a stifled sob that took him by surprise. John shifted closer to Dean and put his arm around Dean’s shoulder.

“I see.” he said contemplatively. Dean leaned into his dad, but managed to control his emotional outburst. 

“I’m gonna have to think about this, Dean. You know how complicated it is. But in the meantime we’ll help him as much as we can.”

Dean nodded gratefully, then chucked Sam on the shoulder.

“Thanks for putting up with me, Sammy.” Dean said apologetically. 

“It’s okay, I’m used to it.” Sam replied with a teasing smile.

After that John lightened the mood with the story of his last hunt, which turned out to be surprisingly funny; the poltergeist he was tracking was more mischievous than malicious and John had ended up getting swirlied at one point. 

They spent the rest of the day laughing and joking and only caught one fish that was big enough to keep, but it was a doozy. 

“Hey, let’s fry this sucker up tomorrow!” John suggested and both boys nodded enthusiastically. “Tell Cas to come over, there’ll be plenty.”

Dean smiled, but he suddenly realized he missed Cas with a deep ache in his chest and it made him nervous to be away from him for so long. 

“You okay, champ?” Dean realized his father was asking.

“Yeah, I guess I just miss Cas.” he replied with a sheepish laugh.

“Well, it’s time for us to go anyway.” John chuckled. “It’s almost 6, gonna get unbearably cold out here soon.”

They cleaned up their trash, packed up their belongings, put out the fire, and headed back to the rental shack. Once they were back in the truck and on their way back to the apartment John cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“You know boys, you can always come to me with anything. I know it’s not easy for any of us to open up, but I just want that to be out there. And Dean, Cas can come over as much as he wants to, we’ll just have to be extra careful about the things we leave out, okay? I’m gonna have to think long and hard about letting him in on our secret, got that?”

“Yes, sir.” both boys replied in unison. 

 

The next day the four of them had a feast; John fried the fish whole out in the back alley in a big pot of oil while Cas and Dean boiled corn, baked potatoes, and mixed up a special Winchester-Novak Seafood Spice Rub. Sam was relegated to prep duties, but he didn’t mind so long as he was included. John had told him it was absolutely not going to become a habit, but since this felt like a special occasion he’d let Sam have another beer or two and he was really feeling like One Of The Men.

The meal was satisfying and the conversation was light-hearted. John never let on that he knew about Cas’s secret, but it was hard when Cas kept unconsciously rubbing his half healed and now itchy shoulder. 

John and Sam cleaned up after dinner while Dean and Cas went to do homework. Once they were alone in the bedroom Dean rounded on his boyfriend and grabbed him by the waist, pulling him in for a deep, passionate kiss. 

“Mmm, been waiting all day to do that!” Dean hummed when they finally came up for air. Cas laughed shyly and buried his face in Dean’s neck.

“I really missed you.” he whispered into the warm skin.

“Missed you, too.” Dean murmured back. It felt so weird to be so attached to someone that wasn’t his family. He was even a little scared by it, but he could certainly get used to it. Suddenly something his Uncle Bobby had said to him once returned to him: _Family don’t end with blood, boy._ and Dean could agree more at the moment.

As for Cas, this was heaven. No one had ever cared about him this much in his whole life and the feeling nearly made him dizzy with happiness.


	7. Confession No. 2 (and 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's turn to tell a difficult truth, and Cas throws another one in for good measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loooooooong chapter! And this is a much slower burn than I was anticipating, guys, but rest assured there will be smut eventually! 
> 
> <3 you all!

Christmas was quickly approaching and Dean was beside himself with happiness thinking of how much time he’d get to spend with Cas over the break. Of course, he managed to hide most of his glee behind his natural bravado, but both John and Sam could sense a change in his personality. 

Sam did his little brother duty and teased Dean mercilessly, but it just made John all the more concerned. He’d thought a lot about what Dean had asked and he was having an enormous struggle with it. 

On one hand, the boy was so young and it wasn’t fair to expose him to the dangers of their lifestyle. Most hunters didn’t choose to do what they did, they usually felt a need - a responsibility - to avenge a loved one, protect the innocent. 

But on the other hand, he’d never seen Dean this happy. Even John could see that there was something unique between them. It was far beyond love and John certainly knew what loving someone so strongly was like. Would he have been able to leave Mary of his own volition had the circumstances been different? No, of course not. John would have done anything to stay with her, would do anything to get her back. 

So, he supposed, it was settled.

Dean actually kissed his father on the cheek when he told his son about his decision. John laughed and clapped him on the back, but his expression went serious before Dean could dash off. 

“Now, son, you’ve got to be smart about this. I know you trust him, I trust him, too, but you’ve got to make sure he’s going to be okay. And as difficult as it may seem you’ve got to consider the possibility that he’ll want nothing to do with this. You understand me?” 

“Yes, sir.” Dean nodded. “But I think it’ll be okay.” John gave him a guarded smile and nodded back. 

 

Cas had planned to spend Christmas Eve day with the Winchesters. He had family coming in for Christmas Day and, despite his mother’s reservations about Cas spending time with ‘those people’, she’d relented and allowed him at least that much time.

Dean thought that would be a good opportunity to spill. He let John and Sam know about his plan and John let him borrow the journal. Dean stashed that in the bedside drawer and told Sam he better get everything he needed because he was being kicked out of the bedroom for the day.

Dean rabbited around the apartment all morning, unsure of what else to do. Should he light candles - make it romantic? Or would that be creepy? What if Cas freaked out!? No, no… it would be fine. Cas was special.

He jumped a little when there was a knock at the door and John answered it. There was Cas, standing there looking good enough to eat; he wore a pair of tight dark jeans, a crisp black dress shirt, and a burgundy vest. Dean had to shake himself a bit to come back to reality. 

John shook Cas’s hand and they wished each other a Merry Christmas. 

As soon as the door was shut he rushed over and gave Cas a hug, sneaking a quick peck on his lips. 

“Merry Christmas, Cas.” he beamed.

“Merry Christmas, Dean.” Cas smiled back, perfect white teeth on full display. 

“You boys want cocoa?” John asked as Sam came into the room.

“Yeah!” Sam exclaimed. 

“Yes, please.” Cas replied politely and Dean just nodded, hardly able to take his eyes off Cas. 

Dean was anxious to get Cas alone, but he supposed it wouldn’t kill him to have some family time. It’s not like they had a lot of it, John was usually on a hunt around Christmas but he felt it prudent to stick around this year. So the boys all sat at the table while John heated the milk. 

Sam suddenly stood up and dashed to the corner of the room. They couldn’t manage a tree, but John had improvised and hauled a big pine branch inside, planted it in an old white construction bucket full of sand and they’d tangled a string of multicolored lights on it. There were a few brightly wrapped packages under what had been dubbed The Charlie Brown Tree and Sam grabbed one before returning to the table. 

“Merry Christmas, Cas!” he said happily as he shoved the present at him. 

“Thank you!” Cas replied, clearly touched. He tore at the paper and pulled out a beautiful blue scarf. “Wow, I love it!” 

“Dean helped me pick it out - he said it matched your eyes.” Sam said and pretended to barf. That earned him a kick to the shin.  
“Ow!” he laughed. “Well, it’s true!” Cas chuckled and his cheeks were flushed pink. 

“Here, I’ve got one for you, too.” Cas reached into the plastic grocery bag he had brought with him. 

Sam took the package with a grin and tore into it eagerly. It was a medium sized leather bound book with gold writing embossed into the spine and Sam’s eyes immediately lit up.

“The Hobbit! Thanks, Cas!”

“I noticed your copy was falling apart, so I thought you’d like a new one.” Cas replied with a satisfied grin.

“This is great!” Sam began to leaf through the crisp pages and Dean chuckled. 

“I got you something, too.” Cas said to Dean as he looked up shyly through his lashes. 

“You didn’t have to do that.” he replied quietly, but he gave Cas a kiss on the cheek as he took the small package. He opened it carefully and saw a glint of silver as one corner came free. He tipped the contents out into his palm and turned it over in his hand. It was a brand new Zippo lighter with the initials ‘D. W.’ engraved on one side. 

“I know you always carry around a crappy BIC, so I thought… maybe you’d… like that.” Cas faltered at the end, suddenly unsure it was the right decision, but Dean looked up at him with a spark in his eye. 

“It’s perfect.” he assured Cas quietly.

John joined them at the table and they all drank their cocoa while Cas told them about the caroling that happened every year and the church pageant that was supposed to be spectacular, although he’d never been himself. 

By the time their mugs were empty Dean was practically squirming in his seat. 

“Alright, you’re free to go.” John chuckled at him and Dean nearly knocked his chair over in his haste. 

“C’mon, Cas! My turn to give you a present!” Dean said as he grabbed Cas’s hand and pulled him along. Cas laughed as he followed Dean into the bedroom and Dean shut the door behind them. Dean sat on his bed and motioned for Cas to do the same. They sat facing each other, cross-legged.

“Okay, so my gift isn’t a thing exactly. It’s, uh, well, jeez… I don’t really know where to begin…” Dean thought a moment, gaze cast to one side, unable to see the slight queasiness on Cas’s face. “Well, I’m gonna tell you the truth. About me and my life and what we do.” 

Cas was white as a sheet by now.

“Oh! No, no, it’s not like we’re murderers or anything! Well, I mean, technically… or… wow, okay, I’m really fuckin’ this up. Alright, here goes, and don’t laugh: we hunt monsters.” There was silence for a moment and Cas’s color turned somewhat normal again.

“Like, you’re vigilantes or something?” he asked, unsure whether Dean was serious or not.

“Kind of, but I’m not talking about humans who do monstrous things, I mean actual, real monsters; vampires, werewolves, ghosts, the works.” 

Cas looked at Dean as if he thought he should laugh, but he was really just very uncomfortable. Were all three Winchesters nuts or was it just Dean?

“Look, I know this is a lot. Trust me, I’ve run into a hefty amount of skepticism about all this. How are you feeling?” 

“I - I don’t know. I want to believe you, I think, but I also think you might be crazy. And if it’s true, then I don’t know what to say…” Cas trailed off and seemed to turn in on himself.

“Yeah… It was easy for me, I’ve been involved in this since I was four years old.” 

Cas’s eyes snapped to Dean’s face, horrified.

“Four!? And that hasn’t made you a mental case?” 

“Well, I mean, I didn’t go on my first hunt until I was, like, twelve.”

Cas looked skeptical.

“Besides, this has just been my ‘normal’. That doesn’t mean it’s not hard - it’s really hard - but it’s easy for me to deal with.” 

“I - I still don’t know what to think.” Cas said quietly. Dean took one of his hands and lightly kissed the back of his knuckles.

“I know, baby, I’m sorry. We usually keep this buried deep, only tell people who need to know. But it was really important that you know the truth about me. You’re special, Cas, not like anyone I’ve ever known. I feel like - like we’re meant to be together.” This last declaration was made with downcast eyes and Dean was afraid he’d be rejected immediately at his confession combined with this sappy outpouring of emotion. But Cas squeezed his hand tight and Dean looked up into shining blue eyes.

“I feel the same way, Dean.” Cas said in a husky voice. “But… I’m still unsure about your earlier admission. Like I said, I want to believe you, but I’ve been conditioned to _not_ believe in that stuff.”

“Yeah, I understand. Don’t worry, I’m prepared.” Dean said with a grin. He reached into the bedside drawer and produced his father’s journal. “This is my dad’s, he’s kept it for 14 years. It’s information about every monster he’s ever hunted and then some. Here, you can look through it.” 

Cas took the journal in trembling hands and opened it to a random page. It fell open to the entry on werewolves; there were newspaper articles, long passages in John’s small handwriting, and a horrifying sketch of a creature that looked half- human half-beast.

“Is that what they really look like?” Cas asked in wonder.

“Yeah, not exactly the Wolfman.” Dean chuckled, relieved to see curiosity swiftly replacing fear in his boyfriend’s features. He moved up the bed so he was resting against the headboard and patted the empty space next to him. Cas scooted up and snuggled in close, leaning his head on Dean’s shoulder.

They spent the next three hours like that, pressed close together, leafing through the journal, Dean regaling Cas with stories of their exploits. It was difficult not to paint the whole scenario as all fun and excitement, but he also didn’t want to terrify Cas.

“Can I ask you a question?” Cas said and Dean laughed.

“You’ve already asked me about a thousand, but yeah, of course.” 

“Is it weird that all of this is making me excited?” 

“Well, it is pretty cool.” Dean laughed again.

“No, I mean, like… ’excited’ excited.” Cas explained using air quotes. Dean shifted so he could look Cas in the face. Cas was blushing furiously and his eyes darted around in embarrassment. 

“Oh.” Dean breathed. He thought about it for two seconds, then decided: “No, that’s not weird at all.” His voice was husky and he leaned in close to Cas. Their lips met and it was like flipping a switch; they were instantly all over each other. However, Cas pulled away after only a minute, gasping for air.

“I should explain…” he trailed off.

“Oh, right. Sure. Sorry, I just… hormones?” That made Cas laugh.

“It’s okay, I didn’t mind. I meant that this is scary, _really_ scary, but I feel completely safe around you. You’re a hero, Dean, and that’s really turning me on.”

“… not a hero, Cas” Dean muttered, inspecting a loose thread on the bedspread. 

“No, Dean, a real hero. Like, you have to deal with all this bullshit and you save tons of people and then you have to pretend like you have this normal life. I know you don’t have special powers and you’re not always successful, but that’s real life. It’s not all perfect and wonderful all the time - there’s more bad then good in the world and people are so ignorant to that! I’m so glad there are people out there like you and your family, Dean, so don’t tell me you’re not a hero!” Cas was practically shouting by now and his eyes were brimming with tears. Dean just stared at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open a bit. 

“I-I’m sorry, Dean. I shouldn’t have-” but Dean cut him off with a soft kiss to his lips. Cas collapsed into Dean, face buried in his neck, and started to cry.

“Shh, shh, baby, it’s okay. I know, I’m sorry, I understand. Neither of us has had much good in our lives, huh?”

“N-no, we’re quite a pair.” Cas said with a weak laugh. Dean pulled him up so they were face to face again.

“Dean, before you came along… I was… I was going to kill myself. I had it all planned out and that day when Luke punched me and I was in the office, I had decided to do it that night. But then I - I saw you and I couldn’t even think about it anymore. So, you see, Dean? You do save people. You saved me.” Cas spoke in a rush so he could get it all out before Dean could respond. 

All Dean could do in that moment was wrap Cas in his arms and hold him close. A single tear slid down Dean’s cheek and landed in Cas’s dark hair. He held Cas’s face in his hands and looked deep into his eyes. 

“Cas, I love you.” he said quietly.

“I love you, too, Dean.” Cas said with a touch of reverence in his voice. 

They kissed then, slow and sweet, and Dean carefully laid the journal aside so nothing would get lost or ruined. He gently pulled Cas down on top of him so Cas could be in charge - Dean wanted him to be as comfortable as possible.

Their kissing turned heavy and rough and their hips were unconsciously grinding together. Cas became daring after a while and slid a hand down to Dean’s crotch; he rubbed his hand along Dean’s impressive length, causing Dean to buck his hips and moan into Cas’s mouth. 

Cas was getting lightheaded from panting and the pleasure of touching Dean, but before it could go any further there was a hesitant knock on the door.

The boys jumped and Cas scrambled to sit up and grab a pillow to put in his lap. 

“J-just a minute!” Dean called out.

“Oh, uh, I just wanted to know if you guys want dinner. Sam and I were thinking Chinese.” John said, the discomfort apparent in his voice.

“Okay, we’ll be right out!” Dean turned to Cas and they both started giggling like little kids. 

“Are you okay to go out there?” Dean asked, looking pointedly at Cas’s crotch. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” Cas smiled, cheeks pink.

 

They all ate at the table while Cas bombarded the three Winchesters with questions about monsters, magic, and hunting. It was mostly a somber conversation, especially when it got to the part about how they got wrapped up in this in the first place, plus John didn’t want Cas taking this lightly, but the boy absorbed every word with rapt attention. John couldn’t help feeling affection for this curious, intelligent kid and he felt assured that he’d made the right decision. 

Cas left soon after dinner; it wasn’t especially late, but he didn’t want to push his luck with his mom. Dean escorted him to the door and they shared a few more kisses before he departed. 

The rest of the evening was quiet; they sat on the couch eating pie and watching old Christmas specials until John couldn’t keep his eyes open. 

“Well, I’m gonna hit the hay.” John said with a yawn and a stretch. 

“’Night, dad.” both boys said in unison as John shuffled off to his room. 

Dean and Sam kept watching TV for a while before Sam reached his foot over and poked Dean in the ribs.

“Dean and Caa-aas, sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!” Sam sang at him.

“Ow! Cut it out!” Dean said irritably. He quickly reached out and captured Sam in a headlock, giving him a hard noogie.

“Ow, ow! Okay, I’m sorry!” pleaded Sam and Dean released him. “Jerk.” he muttered.

“Bitch.” returned Dean and they both chuckled. 

“Well, It’s officially Christmas.” Dean announced as he looked at the blinking clock on the VCR that kept flashing 12:00.

“That’s broken, you idiot.” Sam said, rolling his eyes. Dean threw a pillow at his head.

“Whatever, it’s still midnight, see?” he said defensively as he pointed to the clock on the stove.

“Then Meeeeerry Christmas!” Sam said with exaggerated glee and he tackled Dean into a hug and off the couch.

“Oof! Merry Christmas to you, too, Sammy.” Dean chuckled as he ruffled his little brother’s hair. Sam clambered back up on the couch and Sam sat up. 

“I’m going to bed. You?” Dean asked.

“Yeah.” Sam replied and they turned off the TV and went to get ready.


	8. A Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A turning point for everyone.

Christmas Day was the most perfect one the boys could ever remember having. They all slept late, ate a huge breakfast, exchanged gifts, and even had a visitor - Rufus had let John talk him into coming by to go to dinner with them. The diner in town was offering Christmas dinner, so they all bundled up and walked downtown. There weren’t many people there, which suited them just fine; plus it was warm, the food was good, and it was snowing out. 

Cas’s Christmas wasn’t quite so Norman Rockwell. He was the only one of his cousins his age, so there was the group of whining, fighting little kids or the college age cousins who were ‘too old’ for him. Then there were the usual questions about school, sports, future plans, relationships - and there was no way he was telling anyone about Dean, he’d get lynched in this crowd. All he wanted to do was hide and he did so as much as he could. Alas, his mother kept finding him and flushing him out. 

After what seemed like ages the last of the extended family left and Cas practically ran for his room. He knew he should help his mother clean up, but he was emotionally exhausted and he couldn’t take it any more. 

He ended up sleeping through the night and his mother was in a state the next morning. She was viciously hung over and angry at Castiel for disappearing and leaving her with the clean up. 

Cas apologized, explaining he hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but she wouldn’t hear it - just called him worthless. That word should have stung, it usually did when she used it, but Cas found he was strangely immune to it now. He simply turned and left the room.

As he climbed the stairs he realized with a sort of sick dread that she was pursuing him. He tried to stay calm and keep going at a steady pace, but her footsteps on the stairs caused him to tremble with an instinctual fear.

“Don’t you walk away from me, you little ingrate!” Naomi yelled as she caught up to Cas. She grabbed his shirt and yanked, intending to stop him, but he lost his balance on the top step and went tumbling past her. He grabbed at the railing to stop his fall, but couldn’t gain purchase. 

The last things he remembered were Naomi looking terrified and a sharp pain in his temple before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooorrrryyyyyyy! Super late and super short, I'll have another chapter within hours to sooth any worries about our baby angel!


	9. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get better for our boys.

Cas awoke almost twelve hours later. He could hear quiet, muffled voices that steadily became clearer, as if he were breaking through the surface of the water. The light on his eyelids was sharp and painful and his mouth felt as if it were stuffed with cotton. He rolled his head to one side and groaned. 

The light suddenly became much dimmer and he felt a warm dry hand on his cold clammy one. 

“Cas?” It was Dean. He spoke quietly, but the concern was unmistakable. 

Cas’s eyes fluttered open and the look on Dean’s face almost broke his heart. Dean’s skin was stark white and his eyes were rimmed in red, as if he’d been crying. He clutched Cas’s hand in both of his and kissed the knuckles, then leaned closer and kissed him on the cheek. 

“You fell down the stairs, baby.” he whispered, afraid Cas may not remember what happened. However, Cas remembered perfectly well. 

“No I didn’t. That bitch knocked me down them.” Cas said in a gravelly voice. 

He heard a gasp as Dean slowly stood and turned a shade of red Cas was sure wasn’t healthy. He turned away from Cas, his hands balled into fists.

“You!” he roared, pointing a finger at who Cas now realized was his mother sitting on the other side of the room. Dean took a step forward, ready to charge, but John was on him in an instant. He grabbed Dean around the waist and hauled him out of the room. 

A moment later Naomi came into Castiel’s view. She looked like she’d been crying, too, but Cas didn’t care.

“Cas, honey, I’m so sorry-” her voice shook.

“Fuck off.” Cas growled harshly. “I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t even want to see you. I’m done with you!”

Naomi’s mouth worked for a moment, but she knew it wasn’t time for an argument. She fussed with his blankets a little, then left the room.

Dean returned almost immediately and sat on the edge of the hospital bed. 

“Do you hurt anywhere?” he asked with a furrowed brow.

“Mmm… I dunno… I feel kinda fuzzy.” Cas mumbled and Dean chuckled.

“Yeah, they’ve got you pumped pretty full of drugs- no, no, no!” He grabbed Cas’s hand when he reached up to scratch his temple. “You’ve got stitches.”

Cas grimaced.

“What else?” he asked with a sigh.

“Guess you’ve got some bruising on your ribs and limbs, but nothing’s broken. And your melon’s okay.” Dean gave him a lopsided smile. 

“Well, that’s good…”

“You’ll be here overnight.”

“That sucks, but I guess it’s better than going home.” 

“Yeah, about that. Um, I kinda thought that maybe it wasn’t an accident, so I… I called the police. I told them it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened and they interviewed your mom. So, you don’t actually have to go home. The cops said that because you’re 18 and you’re in a dangerous environment you have every right to just leave. Charlie was here earlier and she said she and her mom talked about it and you can stay with them.” Dean explained. 

Cas had brightened considerably as Dean spoke and some color even returned to his yellow-grey face. 

“That’s really… really good news.” he said sleepily as his eyelids drooped. 

“All right, Sleeping Beauty, you rest. I’ll be here if you need me.” Dean smiled and kissed Cas’s forehead.

“Love you, Dean.” Cas mumbled with closed eyes.

“Love you, too, baby.” Dean whispered.

 

Cas slept through that night and when he awoke Dean was dozing in a chair next to the bed. Cas tried to sit up, but that made his head throb and he groaned. Dean’s eyes shot open at the sound.

“You’kay?” he mumbled groggily.

“No.” Cas answered. He wasn’t in the mood to be tough. “Head hurts.” 

“Want me to get the nurse?”

“No, I’ll just lay here for a minute. Did you stay all night?” 

“Nah, they kicked me out, I’m ‘not family’. But I got here right when visiting hours started.” Dean reached over and took Cas’s hand. “Need anything?”

“I’m pretty hungry, I guess.”

“Oh, here…” Dean got up and crossed the room. He brought back a small waxed paper bag and plopped it on Cas’s chest.

“Muffins from the coffee shop.” Dean declared with a shining grin.

“You’re the best.” Cas smiled back at him. He lifted his arm to open the bag, but winced at the pain it caused in his elbow. Dean’s brow instantly furrowed with worry.

“It’s okay.” Cas quickly reassured. “Just discovering what hurts.”

Dean smiled weakly, but let him open the bag himself - he knew Cas didn’t want to be babied.

They ate in silence, half-watching the news on the small TV in the corner. A few minutes later a whirlwind busted into the room.

“Cas! How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Are you getting enough meds?” Charlie’s questions came out in a rush and her face looked paler than usual against the bright red flush of her cheeks. 

Cas and Dean stared, stunned momentarily.

“Jeez, Charlie, you tryna wake the dead?” Dean teased. She gave him a look and made her way to the bed, shedding her jacket in the process. She sat on the edge of the bed and gently laid a cold hand on Cas’s shoulder. 

“How are you?” she asked, brow knit and eyes shining with moisture.

“I’m okay, Charlie, really. Everything hurts, but I’ll be fine.” He gave her the biggest smile he could muster, but it didn’t seem to work.

“Ooohhh, I want to say horrible things about your mother!” Charlie whined.

“Don’t worry, I do, too.” Cas said with an angry expression. He took her hand and his face softened. 

“So, are you gonna move in with me?” Charlie asked brightly. She could never stay gloomy, or silent, for long. 

“Yeah, I guess I am.” Cas chuckled and Charlie leapt up in glee.

“Yay! I’m gonna call my mom right now!” With that, she dashed out of the room and towards the nurse’s station. 

Dean grinned at Cas, then leaned in to give him a gentle kiss on his tragically dry lips.

“I’ll get you some water, okay?” 

Cas nodded and let his eyes drift shut.


	10. New Year, New Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so very sorry this has taken so long! I'm now officially caught up to what I had written on paper, so things may be a little slower going now, but I'm totally in love with this story and will continue to chug along!
> 
> Bonus, you'll find out where the title and inspiration for this story came from! :)

Later that night Cas was out of the hospital and settled at Charlie’s. Charlie had gone with him to his house to get some stuff, seeing as John had refused to let Dean help. He trusted his son in general, but he wasn’t about to risk him getting arrested for a crime of passion. 

Dean went to see Cas as soon as humanly possible and pampered him to the point where Cas was almost annoyed. He needed a lot of rest with his head injury, so Dean made it his duty to see that Cas didn’t overexert himself. He’d also gotten a new tube of the arnica cream from John to help with the many bruises left on Cas’s pale skin. Dean couldn’t stand to look at his boyfriend’s injured body and he wanted them to heal as quickly as possible.

Charlie wisely stayed out of the way. 

 

Two days later, Charlie came bounding into the spare room where Cas was staying practically vibrating out of her skin.

“Guess what? Dorothy just called, there’s going to be a party tomorrow night at Julia’s house! Nothing too big, but it’ll be so much fun! Whaddya say? Think you’re up for it?” 

Cas was sitting at his desk, working on an essay for English, and he considered this for a moment. 

“Um, yeah, I guess I’m feeling better. What does your mom say?” he asked cautiously. He wasn’t used to other parents, only really having his mom’s less than stellar parenting to go on.

“Well, I haven’t asked her, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll go talk to her now!” 

Charlie dashed out of the room again and nearly ran straight into Dean in the hallway.

“Whoa! Hey, Charlie, what’s up?” 

“Party! Tomorrow!” 

Dean laughed as she flew down the stairs.

He stood in the doorway of Cas’s room and knocked lightly on the frame. Cas’s eyes lit up when he saw Dean. 

“Hey, Cas.” Dean’s smile crinkled the corners of his eyes as Cas stood and rushed over to grab him in a tight hug. 

“Missed you.” he mumbled into Dean’s neck. Dean kissed the top of Cas’s head and returned the sentiment.

“So, party, huh?”

Cas kept his grip around Dean’s waist while he tilted his head back to look at the taller boy. 

“Yeah, I guess so. You wanna go?” He was hesitant because he wasn’t sure whether or not Dean was a ‘party’ kind of guy, and even if he was would he approve of Cas venturing out? 

“I want to if you do. I mean, it’d be fun to do something for New Year’s, but I’d be totally fine watching movies and eating junk food if that’s all you’re up for.” Dean leaned down and gave Cas a sweet kiss on the lips.

“I would like to go. I’m feeling better and a little restless, so this is perfect.” 

“Great.” Dean ruffled Cas’s hair and smiled at him.

John had left on a case as soon as Cas had gotten settled at Charlie’s and Sam was couch-hopping while he was gone, so Dean was pretty much free to do as he pleased. All Dean had to do was check in with Sam to find out where he was staying and make sure he was okay. He’d already called Sam, who was at his friend Gabe’s, and although Dean didn’t exactly trust the little prankster he knew Sam would be safe. Now he was free to hang out with Cas all day.

Charlie returned then and they lounged on the bed discussing party plans. Dorothy had a car, so she had agreed to pick them all up and be DD. Charlie and Cas got into a debate about what to wear and Dean fell asleep sprawled across Cas’s lap.

The three of them ended up watching movies all day, occasionally raiding the fridge, and taking turns snoozing in various locations like a trio of large cats. All in all a winter’s day well spent.

 

By the next evening it had started to snow; big fluffy flakes floated down and settled thickly over every flat surface, creating a sugar-coated wonderland effect. Cas sat in the bay window in the living room watching the snow gather under the orange cones of the street lights, their halogen glow rendered romantic with the softening of white blankets.

Charlie was dancing through the house in a sparkly red dress, animatedly singing into a hairbrush along to the radio while they waited for Dorothy and Dean.

When Cas saw headlights turn toward the driveway he perked up and waved at Charlie.

“I think they’re here.” he informed her. Charlie whooped and jumped up and down.

“Finally!”

Two snow-clad figures stomped through the doorway and were greeted by a hyperactive Charlie. 

“We’re ready! Let’s go!” she shouted excitedly.

“Mmm, you look amazing, doll! Did you get the wine?” Dorothy asked.

“Yup! Let’s go!” Charlie insisted and gave Dorothy a quick kiss. 

“Wine?” asked Cas, an edge of nervousness in his voice.

“Well, yeah, we don’t want to just drink skunky beer all night, do we?” 

“Oh, I - I guess not. But I thought you were driving us home, Dorothy?” 

“I am, but I like to get my girl liquored up once in a while.” she winked.

“Oh, heh, heh.” Cas flushed pink and looked away.

Cas and Charlie got their coats on, Charlie grabbed a backpack that clinked intriguingly, and they were on their way.

 

Ten slippery minutes later they were pulling into a long driveway out near the edge of town. It was clear why this was chosen as party central; there were no neighbors within earshot, the place was huge, and best of all there was a hot tub. 

The house was rather more crowded then any of them had anticipated, but the girls didn’t bat an eye. Rooms overflowed with kids in various states of drunkenness talking, shouting, laughing, dancing, making out - it was a scene straight out of a movie. Cas was instantly anxious, but he didn’t want to lame out so he tried to keep his expression neutral. The girls were scanning the crowd and waving excitedly at people. Dean grinned and pulled Cas in for a chaste kiss. 

“You okay? I can tell you’re nervous, you don’t have to hide it from me.” 

Cas reddened and ducked his head. Was he really that easy to read?

“Well, I guess I just haven’t been to a lot of parties before… or at all… Let’s break into that wine, shall we?” 

“Now, you’re talkin’!” Dean laughed. “Hey, Charlie, booze me!” 

Charlie whooped and opened the backpack to reveal four bottles containing a pale yellowish liquid.

“How much did you bring!?” Cas asked incredulously.

“What? We’re gonna split it between the three of us.” Charlie looked like she was honestly confused by Cas’s shock and naiveté. “Oh, poor, sweet Cas! So innocent!” 

She wrapped her arms around Cas’s neck and ruffled his hair teasingly. He pushed her away and stuck his tongue out. 

“Yeah, yeah, just gimmie a cup…” he muttered.

Charlie beamed as she handed him a full red plastic cup.

“What kind of wine is this anyway?” 

“Muscato. It’s really fruity and usually cheap as dirt.” She took a swig straight from the bottle and passed it to Dorothy who gave her a not-so-chaste kiss. Cas took a tentative sip. 

“Oh! This is really good!” His eyes were round and bright with pleased surprise. 

Dean chuckled and took the offered cup from Cas, trying a sip of his own.

“Nnneh… I’ll stick with beer, thanks. I’ll be right back.” He gave Cas’s hand a squeeze as he walked away.

“C’mon, let’s go claim the empty couch!” Dorothy called out and started to weave through the mass of bodies like water past rocks. Charlie followed, giggling, and suddenly Cas was alone as the sea of people closed up behind his friends.

He took another sip of wine. Then another. Half the cup was gone already and he figured the more he drank the less anxious he’d be, so he drained the cup. He was already feeling a little warm as he pushed past people to get back to his friends. 

“Fill ‘er up!” he announced, holding out the cup to Charlie. She was happy to oblige and he flopped down in the space next to Dorothy.

“Hey, you said you weren’t going to drink.” he accused.

“Well, jeez, I can have a couple. We’ll be here for hours yet, I promise I’ll be fine by the time we leave.” She tweaked his nose and he wrinkled it, but didn’t argue. It sounded like sound reasoning to his inexperienced brain.

“Dottie’s an expert partier.” Charlie cut in. “She’s got it down to a science. Maybe you’d know that if you came to more parties with us?” she smirked.

Cas simply looked away in mock innocence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Anyway, you want a refill?”

“Sure.” Cas replied. He’d already finished the second cup and he started his third just as Dean relocated them. 

“Hello, Dean.” Cas said dreamily and Dean laughed.

“Hey, Cas. You okay there?”

“I’m great!” Cas punctuated his reply with a long drink. “This stuff is awesome!”

“Okay, well, you might want to slow down a little, babe.” Dean said with a little smile as he sat down next to Cas. The angelic boy immediately snuggled up to his boyfriend and hummed contentedly, like a cat.

“We should go in the hot tub later.” Cas stated matter-of-factly. Dean’s mind short circuited a bit at the thought of Cas in just swim trunks and he had to kinda shake himself back to reality. 

“That’d be great, but I don’t have a swimsuit.” 

“So? I don’t either. We can just go in our boxers.”

Dean may have actually drooled a little bit. Of course, the exact same amount of skin would be showing, but the implication made him shiver. 

“Dean? You still with me?” Cas nudged him in the ribs.

“Oh, uh, haha! Yeah, s-sounds good.” he chuckled nervously.

Cas finished his drink and was about to ask for another refill when the music changed and he gasped.

“I love this song! Dean, let’s dance! Please?” He was already on his feet and pulling Dean’s arm lightly. 

“Uuuhh, I don’t really-”

“C’mon, baby, you’ll enjoy it! I promise!”

Dean chugged the rest of his beer, sighed, and stood reluctantly. He _really_ didn’t like dancing, but Cas was so excited it was hard to deny him. They moved away from the couch and into the crowd. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and began to sway to the beat, leading him along. 

“Just relax and do what I do, okay?” Cas purred into his ear and Dean was powerless to resist.

Cas turned so his back was to Dean’s front and placed Dean’s hands on his hips. Then Cas started to subtly grind back against Dean and Dean’s opinion on dancing suddenly, miraculously, did a 180. Now his only problem was concentrating on not getting an erection. To thwart this he concentrated on the lyrics of the song and as he began to understand what the words were he realized they almost perfectly described his feelings for Cas:

I’m addicted to you, hooked on your love,   
Like a powerful drug I can’t get enough of.  
Lost in your eyes, drowning in blue,  
Out of control, what can I do?  
I’m addicted to you.

By the time the song ended Dean had turned Cas back around and they were making out like octopuses. A few mostly friendly cries of ‘Get a room!’ broke their hormone bubble and they laughed, half-dazed, as they pulled apart.

“I don’t think I can handle any more dancing tonight - at least not where other people can see us.” Dean spoke into Cas’s ear and was rewarded with a deep moan as Cas nodded heartily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not a doctor, but I'm assuming one shouldn't drink so soon after a knock to the noggin. But, hey, artistic license and all that. 
> 
> Also, arnica cream is a real thing and is a miracle worker!


	11. The Sexy Hut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cautionary tale about drinking. (But funny.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's another chapter! Finally! And it contains actual smut!

Cas flopped back down next to Charlie, squeezing into the only narrow spot left, and she handed him another cup of wine. Dean retrieved another beer from the kitchen and leaned on the arm of the couch. He watched the crowd before him while Cas and the girls gossiped and laughed. 

After a while Charlie jumped up and drunkenly declared that it was hot tub time. Dorothy and Cas cheered and Charlie pulled their last bottle of wine out of her bag. 

“To the sexy hut!” she shouted as she led the charge.

The hot tub was in an enclosed gazebo out back with fogged up windows - perfect for a rendezvous. Foregoing coats, the group dashed from the French doors in the mudroom to the small hexagonal structure. Charlie burst through the door and Cas was relieved to find that it was empty.

The room was warm and steamy, but the hot tub was still covered and there was a stack of neatly folded towels on a bench along the perimeter of the room. 

“I can’t believe no one else has been in here!” exclaimed Charlie as she unceremoniously pulled her dress off over her head. Cas’s eyes went wide at her lack of modesty, but Dorothy was undoing the zipper down the side of her own black velour dress.

Dean noticed his concern and pulled him over to the other side of the small room.

“Embarrassed?” 

Cas nodded sheepishly.

“Don’t worry, baby, we can just pretend they’re not here. I mean, it’s not like they’re going to be paying any attention to us, you know?” Dean smirked.

Cas looked over his shoulder and saw that the girls were already completely wrapped up in one another, figuratively _and_ literally; Dorothy had her arms around Charlie’s waist, Charlie was nuzzling against her like a cat in heat and it was clear that there was no one else in the room with them at the moment.

“I see what you mean.” Cas giggled as he turned back to Dean.

Dean lifted Cas’s sweater and T-shirt off in one smooth motion and dove in for a quick, teasing kiss. Cas fumbled with Dean’s button up shirt and, with a little help, managed to get it off without too much trouble before starting on his own pants.

Dean sighed a little as he watched his boyfriend tease the zipper down, slowly revealing a pair of black silk boxers underneath.

“You little minx…” he growled and lunged forward as Cas’s pants dropped to the floor. Dean grabbed onto Cas’s firm little ass possessively and moaned against his neck, biting down lightly. Cas gasped and melted against the skin of Dean’s beautiful, flawless chest.

“Dean…” he whined, and started to undo Dean’s belt, but it quickly became clear that he couldn’t handle the task in his current state. 

Dean chuckled at his intoxicated boyfriend and gently pushed his hands away.

“It’s okay, I’ve got it.” 

Finally they both had their pants, shoes, and socks off, leaving them only in their boxers. Dean’s were nothing special, but Cas had assured him it was just fine, he looked amazing no matter what he was wearing, and Dean actually blushed. 

The girls were already in the hot tub, Charlie sitting on Dorothy’s lap as they kissed and giggled.

Cas climbed the three wooden steps and sat on the edge dipping his feet in tentatively to get used to the heat. Dean, however, got right in, letting out an almost pornographic groan as his body was submerged. He had been abstaining from hunting lately, but he still worked out and trained a lot and he wished he could soak his sore muscles like this every day.

Feeling emboldened by the booze Cas decided he was being a wuss and forced himself to plunge right into the water. It wasn’t as bad as he had thought it would be, though certain parts of his body were a little more sensitive than others…

He immediately planted himself on Dean’s lap, bringing his boyfriend back to reality. Dean maneuvered him so Cas was straddling his hips and began stroking lightly up and down his back.

“Mmm… This feels great!” sighed Cas.

“Mmmhmm…” Dean hummed as he leaned forward to capture Cas’s lips. There was no teasing this time, just a steady passion that left the pair breathless. “Your lips taste amazing. Wonder how other parts of you taste?” 

Cas gave a hard shudder and moaned as he kissed Dean even deeper. 

By now Charlie was straddling Dorothy’s hips and writhing with small, restrained motions, panting _Dot… Dot!_ every few seconds. Dorothy’s left hand was wrapped around the back of Charlie’s neck while their foreheads pressed together, but her right hand was under the water, presumably the cause of Charlie’s passion.

However, neither of the boys was paying the slightest attention to them as they ground their hips harshly together, Cas moaning unabashedly. 

Charlie was crying out now, Dorothy having accomplished her ultimate goal, and Dean was just about to slide his fingers into the waistband of Cas’s boxers when Cas abruptly ceased all movement. Dean jerked his head up, concern playing over his features, and saw a look of green horror on Cas’s face. 

“I-” was all Cas managed to get out before he was clambering over the side of the tub and pushing the door open, wet and nearly naked.

Dean jumped up and over the side of the tub in one movement as he watched his boyfriend disappear into the darkness. He was confused and afraid for a moment until he heard the unmistakable sounds of retching coming from the dark doorway. He sighed in relief as he kept moving forward.

The girls were climbing out of the tub now, too, and Charlie grabbed two big towels to toss to Dean. 

Dean stepped out into the frigid air to find Cas bent over, clutching the side of the gazebo, feet buried in a foot-high drift of snow. He draped one of the towels over Cas’s shoulders and rubbed his back soothingly as he puked again into the no longer pristine snow. 

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Dean…” Cas rasped out, panting raggedly. 

“No, no, no, baby. It’s fine, it’s okay. I’m here for you.” Dean reassured. 

The girls quickly dried and redressed before heading back to the house. 

“Get him inside quick, we’ll be ready for him in the kitchen.” Dorothy instructed and Dean nodded succinctly. 

“C’mon, sweetheart, we gotta get you inside before you freeze. Here, put your arm around me.” Dean hoisted Cas onto the path they’d trodden earlier and practically dragged him into the house. 

True to her word, Dorothy was waiting with a trashcan and a glass of water when they got inside. Charlie was lugging a heavy blanket into the room, struggling a little with her still drunk legs. She heaved the blanket around Cas and she and Dean wrapped their arms around him.

“Do you want tea or coca, Cas?” Dorothy asked. 

“Tea, please.” Cas replied through chattering teeth.

Dorothy was familiar with her friend’s house so she set about fixing it immediately. 

“You okay? Do you need to throw up again?” Dean asked.

Cas shook his head; the answer to both questions was ‘no’.

“I-I’m s-s-s-so sor-ry.” he mumbled again, shaking violently. 

“Don’t worry about it, really. I’m sure the heat combined with the booze made you even drunker than you would have been. It’s not your fault.” Dean soothed and gave him a little kiss on the temple.

“W-well… I sh-should tell you… I’ve n-never been drunk bef-fore…” Cas forced out sheepishly. He was beyond mortified at this point, so he figured it couldn’t get any more embarrassing. He just hoped Dean wouldn’t be mad. 

On the contrary, Dean laughed - a loud, genuine laugh. He shook with mirth and Charlie joined in immediately. 

“Cas! I didn’t know you’ve never been drunk!” she exclaimed. “You really are innocent, huh?” She ruffled his hair as Cas chuckled a little, very much relieved. 

“Well, I’m glad I was here for your first time, baby.” Dean joked and winked at Charlie. 

“Whaddya say we find a nice quiet spot to rest until the girls are ready to go home?” Dean whispered in Cas’s ear and Cas nodded gratefully. 

Dorothy returned with the steaming hot brew and Cas sipped it slowly.

“Thank you.” he sighed as he closed his eyes. “You’re all the best. Really.” 

Charlie picked up the pile of the boys clothes that she’d brought in and handed them to Dean.

“Aren’t you cold, too?” she asked.

“Nah, I’ll be fine. You think there’s a bedroom free where we can hole up until he’s back to a normal temperature?”

“Probably.” Dorothy replied. “There’s a ton of rooms in here, should be able to find something.” She and Charlie set off on a bed-finding quest as Dean finished drying Cas off. 

“I’m feeling a lot better now.” Cas said, even though he still shook like a leaf.

“I’m glad.” Dean kissed his cheek. “But you still need to warm up, okay?”

Cas simply nodded and let himself be lead away when Charlie returned a minute later. They’d found a small guest room at the end of the hall, down from the kitchen, and Cas flopped gracelessly onto the bed there. 

Dean hugged the girls, thanking them for their help, and promised they’d be out before the ball dropped. He helped Cas stand back up, under great protest, but he really didn’t want Cas staying in anything wet.

“Okay, this is not how I pictured this going, but I’m gonna take your boxers off. Gotta get you totally dry.”

A giggle burst from Cas, but he managed to compose himself pretty quickly and nodded his consent. Dean grasped the waistband that hung around Cas’s perfect hips and slowly tugged them down, the sodden material sticking to his damp pale skin.

Dean didn’t realize he was holding his breath as a neat tuft of dark curly hair came into view. He finally released it in a low whistle as Cas’s cock was exposed, half hard and perfectly pink. He glanced up at his boyfriend who was looking down at his boyfriend with a mixture of nerves and cocky satisfaction. 

Dean quickly stripped the underwear the rest of the way off and got rid of his own, leaving them both in a pile on the floor. He was immensely pleased by Cas’s expression as he stared down at Dean’s crotch.

Dean whipped the covers back from the bed and pulled Cas down with him, covering them up quickly. They wrapped their arms around each other and Dean noticed Cas had finally stopped shaking so violently. He still trembled a bit, but Dean was relieved. 

Cas sighed contentedly and snuggled in even closer. He started to playfully kiss and nip at Dean’s jaw line and neck and Dean’s breathing grew rapid. He stroked a hand up and down Dean’s chest and teased at a nipple, causing him to gasp and jerk.

“Naughty…” he muttered. “I take it you really are feeling better. Or maybe you’re still drunk?”

“Both.” Cas stated with a sloppy grin.

“You sure you’re okay? No more surprise revisits from the wine?”

“No more of that, I promise.” Cas smiled.

“Then in that case…” Dean ducked his head under the covers and scooted down toward the foot of the bed. Cas was momentarily confused, but he got the picture real quick when there was suddenly a hand wrapped around the base of his fully erect member, then a sinfully hot, wet mouth around the tip.

He bucked up and cried out at the unexpected sensation. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening and he had to see it for himself. He pulled the covers aside and was greeted with the delicious sight of his gorgeous boyfriend working over his cock like a pro.

“Oh, my god, Dean! That’s amazing! I’ve never… never had…” He couldn’t even finish the sentence it felt so good, but Dean got the gist. He figured after the embarrassment and pain of getting sick everywhere his sweet angel boyfriend deserved a reward. Plus, he reasoned, it would help Cas warm up faster.

Dean pushed his mouth down as far as he could go. He was a couple inches short of the base, but he wasn’t exactly experienced at the giving end of this particular act. Still, Cas didn’t seem to mind, so he pulled off a little and slid back down. He kept it up until Cas was a writhing mess under him, which didn’t take long at all. Before he knew it Cas was tugging at his hair, urging him to pull off. 

“I’m close!” he panted when Dean looked up.

Dean grinned and stroked Cas’s length, quick and tight, until Cas came all over Dean’s hand and his own stomach, body curled upward from the intense pleasure. Cas collapsed back onto the pillows, panting with his eyes squeezed shut.

Dean got up and spotted a box of tissues on top of the dresser.

_Score!_

He grabbed the whole box and cleaned up his dazed boyfriend. 

“What about you?” Cas asked, a spark of heat still in his eyes as he reached out and pulled Dean in close. 

“I’m okay. I just needed to taste you.” he breathed against Cas’s ear. Cas shuddered and his eyes rolled back into his head briefly.

“Dammit, Dean, you are so hot!” he whined.

“I know.” Dean teased. “Now why don’t you get a little sleep.”

Cas snuggled into Dean and more or less immediately passed out.

 

Cas awoke an hour later to Dean gently shaking him. He rolled over onto his back and stretched. 

“Hey, baby. Let’s get dressed and get back to the part, okay? It’s 11:15, don’t want to miss all the fun!”

Cas nodded and Dean leaned in close. He took a few moments to kiss Cas fully awake before the got up and reluctantly pulled on their clothes, sans underwear. Dean briefly thought that he should have hung them up to dry, but it was too late now.

There was an excited buzz in the air when they returned to the living room; most people were gathered around the blasting TV where KISS was playing on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve.

They found Charlie and Dorothy, who fawned over Cas for a little while. He blushed crimson, answering their question of whether or not Dean had ‘warmed him up properly’ with a shyly proud nod, which sent them into a fit of giggles.

Cas danced with the girls for a couple songs, putting on a teasing little show for Dean who was leaned up against a wall with a big grin on his face.

The buzz got louder and they realized it was 11:59:40. Cas rushed over to Dean and wrapped his arms around his neck; Dean’s arms slipped automatically around Cas’s waist.

“10!… 9!… 8!…” Not a single person at the party wasn’t participating; the roar of every voice raised as one was almost as intoxicating as the booze and when the ball hit the base of the pole a mighty cheer went up amongst the revelers. 

Dean pulled Cas in tight against his body and they shared the clichéd, yet no less meaningful, midnight kiss. Of course, no one gave them any flack this time considering they were far from the only ones engaged in passionate celebration. 

Cas couldn’t help but think that this year the festivities really did herald a new beginning for him and he couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was typing this up I saw a short little outline I'd jotted down in the margins and it cracked me up so I thought I'd share it:
> 
> \- more booze  
> \- hot tub  
> \- canoodling  
> \- barfing
> 
> Also, good lord, don't ever have sex in the water. So unpleasant in so many ways!

**Author's Note:**

> Love and comments will inspire me to post chapters faster! <3


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